The couples living separated for a week and uniting on the weekend is not an uncommon phenomenon in a city like Pune. Having to chose between an exciting career and a loving partner, many of the partners have chosen to to sacrifice neither one nor another. The career and the is balanced superbly. Even if it might seem unmanageable or impossible for an outside, yet many couples manage to organize the life in that fashion.
Among the obvious advantages of the system is lessened number of friction incidents. They argue less since they get to see each other very little. The couples are charged with pleasure when the moment of Homecoming comes. Especially since these moments are charged with a special intensity because they are simply short. The most gifted know and adapt their sexual desire by letting go crescendo in anticipation. The couples who have lived together for a few years know and find themselves more easily. This distance - provided it is short term - is sometimes a great way to strengthen their relationship and avoid the routine. Perhaps the secret of a couple "that lasts".
On the downside, we should not delude ourselves: those rare moments together are not necessarily always roses. Being away from each other is trying for one who is stuck with, besides his own work, children, housework, shopping, and the hassles of daily life. It is also difficult for the other partner who lives hundreds of kilometers every week before they release the pressure. Having forced to lead two lives in a single week, both became very independent and sometimes can not bear to spend more than two days in the matrimonial home. The holidays together, for example, become an ordeal.
But how do these couples to take the shock of separation five days a week?
They have developed a sacred trust each other, they will say everything, tell every detail of their daily lives. If you are ferociously jealous, of course, the separation is hell.
Communication is a priority and the secret of the longevity of these couples: at any time, they must be able to contact each other to feel close. They therefore rely on telecommunication! They are equipped with a broadband connection; they struggle with with their preferred telephone numbers which they sometimes call five times a day. They take course to MSN or Skype which allows them to call for free via the net.
Finally, many have invested in a webcam, at least, closer in pictures ... They are super organized so that when it comes time for reunions, they can really enjoy it without having poisoned with the existence of "things to set. Important: these couples continue to develop projects in the medium term, this time they are finally reunited.
They "surprise". To stay in love, these couples are still a minimum in the expectation, they still sparing effects of surprise. Above all, they avoid being called at specific times, to provide telephone appointments "forced".
Depressed? You Must Be Loving Chocolate!
People who regularly eat chocolate are more depressive, experts have found.
Research in Archives of Internal Medicine shows those who eat at least a bar every week are more glum than those who only eat chocolate now and again.
Many believe chocolate has the power to lift mood, and the US team say this may be true, although scientific proof for this is lacking. But they say they cannot rule out that chocolate may be a cause rather than the cure for being depressed.
In the study, which included nearly 1,000 adults, the more chocolate the men and women consumed the lower their mood. Those who ate the most - more than six regular 28g size bars a month - scored the highest on depression, using a recognised scale. None of the men and women were on antidepressants or had been diagnosed as clinically depressed by a doctor.
'Mood food'
Dr Natalie Rose and her colleagues from the University of California, San Diego, say there are many possible explanations for their findings, and that these need to be explored.
It may simply be that people who are depressed crave chocolate as a "self-treatment" to lift mood, or depression may drive the craving without any beneficial effect.
"Alternatively, analogous with alcohol, there could be short-term benefits of chocolate to mood with longer-term untoward effects," they told the journal.
Chocolate could even be a direct cause of depression, the researchers added.
Bridget O'Connell, of the mental health charity Mind, said: "The way we feel and what we eat can be closely related, and many people will be familiar with craving particular foods or comfort eating when they are stressed, under pressure or depressed.
"However, as this study shows, more research is needed to determine exactly what the relationship between chocolate and our mood is."
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Should Parents Scare Or Spare Kids?
Pater Familias
Back when our only daughter, now seven, was almost two years old, we went to Arizona for business and fun, part of which was reconnecting with an older married couple we really liked, who had retired to Scottsdale. During the visit talk turned to bringing up our daughter, which I do more of day-to-day because I’m the at-home parent.
The man said this: “The most important thing is that your kid should be scared of you.”
That could sound like a parental tyrant, even an abuser, talking. But this guy is nobody’s kid whacker. He’s a retired pediatrician, beloved by families he cared for, left-leaning, Jewish, artistic (oils), the whole sensitive Blue State nine yards. If that man said kids ought to be scared of us parents, he meant some good kind of scared. Ergo sum, we, I, need to be some good kind of scary.
For quite a while I thought my friend might have said scared for a little shock-value humor and really meant respectful. But he had it right. Respect sounds so grand and noble but also cold, corporate, a way to flatter people you can’t stand. And my friend meant something more large and full of love than a child’s reluctance to misbehave within the Consequences system of discipline. Do this, pay that. Good stuff but business, cap and trade for being bad. We need a deep-felt personal consequence, facing the displeasure of Mom and Dad. Not worth it, Junior, because they’re scary – and you’re scared – when you displease them.
Lately what my friend said rings like a bell. In our upper-middle child-centric suburb I see a grotesque, upside-down sort of scared -- parents scared of kids and kids working it. Way too much crappy attitude, talking down to moms and dads, arguing, yelling insults, ignoring their grownups. I’ve seen children swing at parents. Talking grade schoolers growing up privileged! Not to overstate, most families and children seem fine, but people endure misery and anger and noise that they would not have if the younger generation felt more trepidation. I don’t believe anybody ought to hit kids or go all crazy enraged, just that grownups need to get their backs up and act like Mom and Dad. Big people come fully equipped to scare school-age offspring, who are hard-wired to respond. Nature made us that way so we could parent.
Way back in Arizona , I would have chuckled and said No. Five years later I say Yes.
Your turn…
Should your kid(s) be scared of you?
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