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Sunday, July 28, 2019

Life Coach: Aparna Ramesh: Recognising Influences

Have you ever been trouble by negative thoughts? 


Imagine you’re complimented over a presentation or appreciated for your work, would you lose your sleep thinking about it? Nope.

However, you will lose your sleep when someone criticise or insult you.

Why do you think we give so much power to negative thoughts?



Turns out, the reason we gravitate towards negativity instead of positivity is because of the influences in our life.

Positive influences can dramatically increase your chances for happiness.

Negative influences will do just the opposite. They drain you out of your energy and pull you down in every area.

If you’re ready to make changes to your life, reduce stress and start afresh, one of the first step I recommend is to recognise these influences in your life.

Because often we don’t even realise how strongly we are affected by them. Also because generally influences develop over an extended period of time.

So the best way to begin is by increasing your awareness of these influences, which is why it’s a good idea to write them down

Take a sheet of paper and divide it into two columns with headings “Positive Influences” and “Negative Influences”. 

Begin with writing down names of people or things that have made you feel positive, inspired and empowered. 

Next, write down names of people or list of things that have made you feel weak, worthless, and depressed.

For people who impact you positively and negatively, put their names in both the columns.

Now examine each of the lists. Why do they affect you that way?

For example look at the positive list and see if they bring a smile to your face.
How do you feel as you see this list.
Do you feel inspired?
Did they teach you something? 

People and items in your positive list have shaped your positive attitude and your feelings of self-worth

Now look at your negative list.

How do you feel as you see the list?
Try to recollect incidents or emotions you have been through which made you put them in your list.

The idea here is not to make you feel bad but see how much of these influences are controlling your life.

You will need to think this through so make sure you’re not distracted at this juncture.

Once done you have to figure a way of inviting more positive influences and reducing interaction with the negative ones.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but the more positive your influences are the more you will exude happiness and peace.

Now here's the catch. There could be some people that you care about in the negative list.

The idea is not to cut them out of your life but to reduce your exposure to them.

For example you can train your mind to resist the negativity with positive affirmations.

If they are too hostile or depressing  then don’t be afraid to cut them out completely. 

Isn’t that a simple exercise? Making a list, analysing it and planning the way ahead. 

Remember, we cannot undo what is done in the past. We can always be mindful about what can we do today, everyday so our future is impacted. 

Let me know your thoughts on this.

Good luck
Aparna ~

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